The Emotional Impact of Infertility on a Couple

Bringing a baby in the world is supposed to be as joyous as the process of creating it. But, for many couples, infertility is what faces them when they try to conceive. It can create a significant emotional strain on the relationship.

It is supposed to work like this: You decide to start your family, you try to conceive and eventually, you become pregnant with your first and only or first of many more children. This pattern is not the one that is followed for some couples, however. What started out as a wonderful “project” to bring a child into the world becomes a nightmare full of needles, anguish and hurt.

Infertility is a burden for both partners. At first, couples may not know what is wrong. Maybe they are stressed or trying too hard to conceive. Both partners look within themselves, not wanting to be the reason for the dilemma.

Sex becomes a chore that can put a strain on the relationship. Instead of enjoying each other, you begin to worry about performance and if you are doing something wrong that is contributing to the fact that you do not have a child yet. This is the silent pain you may both experience.

The next step is to get help. But, that only comes after a period of denial when neither partner wants to admit publicly that something is wrong. It is important to remember that the problem of infertility can lie with either partner and it is not just the woman who needs to be tested.

Here is where things can become somewhat one-sided. The doctor may return a verdict that means an easy fix. For example, obesity may be a factor. If both or one person is obese, then losing weight can become a group effort to help increase fertility. You can see an end to the tunnel.

One the other hand, the problem may be genetic or due to illness. Here, the doctor may say that it is one person in the pair who is mostly the culprit. Now, that person has more pressure on them than they have ever had before. Not only do they feel guilty about their body, but also depressed at the odds of the problem being resolved.

When it is one person who experiences the treatments, poking, prodding, pills and repeated visits to the doctor, it can lead to anger and resentment. They not only look at their partner as having the easier part of the job but also at friends who didn’t have to go through these hoops to conceive. It can take its toll on other relationships as well.

If you are a couple who is having trouble conceiving, talk to your doctor. Besides treatment options, they may also be able to suggest support groups and ways to help you come together instead of move further apart in your goal.